It just hit me that its about time that i should start to act to be in my late twenties. It feels that there is a need to be all grown up about it. But I still feel like my father's little girl, wide eyed and naive.
I met a bunch of 30 year old liberated souls (the social activists types) who share a purpose in life and things look so sorted out for them. Mentally i still feel like as if i m stuck in early or mid twenties, i suppose i need a reality check. probably that is cause of the luxuries enjoyed of a student life and getting back to the work world makes one feel all responsible and jaded. the scary bit about growing old is to start having fixed and set ideas and the inability to make compromises on things we want. There is no potential to mould and wipe away the conditioning of the mind. I see some changes in the way i think and get all caught up in maternal instincts looking at cute babies and all.
i ve actually started to think if i wanna bring up my children in the western world with so much of psychological imbalance. they might grow up to be completely messed up in their heads who knows. Bringing up kids is no joke and now i realise what a wonderful job my parents have done all these years. I ve been watching my bosses struggling to bring up two young kids and i guess they are doing an excellent stint at it since they have turned out to be well behaved and grounded.
I reckon i am playing with time and then hoping for some magical thing to happen which will make this whole business of being domesticated and earning and raising a family vanish away. but on some level i do want all of those things.... oh! the worries of an adult life....how long will it be before we realise that we choose to make our lives what we want.
